10 Difficult Steps To Ending Bullying Problems

Bullying is not just a harmless activity that helps kids learn social skills through peer interaction. Bullying is peer-on-peer abuse that inculcates fear, depression, anxiety, injury, illness, suicidality, and homicidality. So, it’s time to put a stop to it.

Everyone—adult and child alike—can take action against bullying, whether you’re a victim, a bully, or someone who watches but hasn’t taken action yet. Here are some pointers.

1. Be Aware. Bullying is when one person or group of people repeatedly overpower another group of people. It can be physical, verbal, or social (like excluding someone from a group. It can also be indirect, like stealing things from someone’s locker. It is not a fight or argument that happens only once between equal competitors. If you think bullying is going on, check it out.

2. Be Brave. Do what you’re afraid of doing. Make a knew friend, tell the bully what you’re feeling, tell an adult, help out a victim (even if you are one).

3. Be Social. Research shows that making friends with people who are nice can improve your situation, whether you’re a victim, a bully, a bystander, or one of the heroic kids who actually helps. Find someone understanding who can appreciate the person you really are. There is strength in numbers, and making healthy friends can change your life.

4. Be Bold. Tell the bully what you’re feeling. Tell anyone who participates in the bullying what your feeling. Get them on your side, or at least try. Of course, in cases of severe physical endangerment, talking to the bully may be the wrong thing to do. But remember, bullying is not just physical. It is any repeated behavior that involves one person overpowering another—like threats, rumor spreading, internet embarrassment, teasing, or other behaviors. Some bullies can be confronted.

5. Be Public. Tell adults about the bullying. Bullying thrives on solitude. It relies on secrecy. Tell adults until you see the situation improve. I admit that some adults make the situation worse, but you will only find a helpful adult if you keep reporting the problem until you see the results you want. Sometimes, you even have to tell the police.

6. Be Heroic. Studies indicate that kids who help victims of bullying are more popular than other kids, have more self-esteem, better self-control, higher moral sensibility, and other positive characteristics that are linked to success in life.

7. Be Nonviolent. Of course you have the right to use force to get yourself out of a sticky situation, but that’s where it ends. Returning aggression with aggression can get you in trouble, make people think you are the bully, and can just embroil you in a nasty, complicated hurting match.

8. Be Political. Work to change policy and attitudes about bullying in your school or community. Advocate for those in need. Think schools know how to handle bullying? Please, think again. It varies. Some schools are safe environments. Some schools resemble Lord of the Flies.

9. Be Persistent. Don’t give up. If working to end bullying seems difficult, remember two things: the struggle will make you stronger and giving up will make things worse.

10. Be a Bridge. A multigenerational bridge. If you’re an adult, show this article to a child or teen. If you’re a child or teen, show this article to an adult in your life. Everyone can help stop bullying. And everyone, adult or child, bully or victim, aware or not, can benefit from the effort.

Bullying is harassment. It is abuse. It is terror. It is preventable.